paper pregnant...

introducing...MTB!

2010-03-11T14:04:00.019-05:00

He's here...

introducing Rhys Jeffrey

he was born on Friday, March 5!

he was 7lbs 7oz and 20in long.
home 3.9.10.

...

AT LAST

...and since right now, he's snoozin', i'll recap what crazy whirlwind the past week has been. (i know, i haven't blogged about his journey at all, so this might be a big recap...prepare yourselves!)

...we started the process (ie decided to update and convert our homestudy to domestic) basically just after my dad passed away, so late november. all of our paperwork was done really, quite quickly (it helped that we decided to expedite our homestudy...little did we know that would be one of the best decisions of our lives!). everything was done on our end...and on our social worker's...except for our child abuse clearances. those were usually taking 4 weeks and our was over 7. and boy...was i antsy.

...and then came friday.

we were at lowes, looking for a new mailbox. it was 3:47 when our social worker called (we were working w/ a different matching agency and homestudy agency). so, our matching agency social worker called to see if we'd gotten our clearance back because there was a birthmom in labor...then came the panic and the frantic calling and we found out that our clearance HAD come back that afternoon...so, we were legit. stamped. and active...which meant that our profile could be shown to this laboring birthmom.

...and it was.

...fastforward to sunday afternoon. we're ordered pizza and were playing games w/ our neighbors. my cell rings and it's our social worker...because we were picked! she gave us all the details and said to come on down the next day.

...so we did.

...and we were blessed to meet Rhys's birth mom. blessed to be able to share his story with him and show him pictures. and everything went perfectly and smoothly (which i'm still shocked about...after ellie's adoption journey i waited w/ baited breath every single minute!)

...so, here we are.

a family of five.
as it was meant to be.

always a teacher...

2010-03-02T18:00:00.001-05:00

my daddy taught architecture for almost my entire life...
...and he always hoped to be able to actually experience the amazing structures he had studied and knew he wasn't giving the designers the credit they deserved having not seen it.
...he was so excited to go to rome.
...i had no idea how much i'd cherish that trip.

...here we are. at the pantheon. he's practically speechless. (if, for only a moment!)
sorry for the background noise.

i miss him so...

charity: water

2010-02-24T10:16:00.000-05:00

http://vimeo.com/6202666

my daddy's charity: water campaign just closed.

our goal was $2500, which was 1/2 of the money necessary to build a well.

WE MET OUR GOAL!!!

our 1/2 of the well will provide 250 ethiopians with clean drinking water for the next 20 years!
the well will be built in ellie's home region, oromia.

HOORAY!!! i know my dad would love this!

2010-02-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

why, hello there blogging world...it's been awhile.

honestly, i've tried to dust off my keyboard and start blogging a few times, but just haven't had the creative juices to actually write anything worth reading. so, while i'm not making any promises here, i'm willing to give it another try.

it's been awhile. see, i haven't blogged since my daddy got sick. and after the most valiant fight (27 days) he passed away. and in some ways, it seems like it's been an eternity already since he's been gone and in the exact same moment, i'm still shocked and it feels like it just happened last night.
so, that's my excuse. i've been spending most of my energy figuring out how to traverse this new world--one w/out my daddy--and just haven't had the gumption to blog.

but...now...here i am.

i'm ready to do as my dad always instructed..."if you're going to do something, do it well"...and well, i have the rest of my life to live... i'll live it well. because, i've learned a lot about life these past couple of months. really, i've learned a lot about how God impacts my life these past few months. because while they've been the hardest months i've ever had to face, i've seen that God is faithful...and while i could blog forever about each way God has been faithful, i'll just say that He has continually, every-single-time, shown me that He hasn't forgotten about us, He didn't miss something, nothing fell between the cracks.

and knowing that. seeing that. i'm ready to live life...and live it well.
glad to be back.

mycharity: water

2009-11-20T07:45:00.001-05:00

mycharity: water

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please pray

2009-10-25T11:38:00.002-04:00

okay blogging world, i'm asking for some more help.

the short version of the story is my dad has suddenly become very ill. perhaps pneumonia caused by H1N1 or a fungus he picked up in ethiopia, or just some random bacteria that's made its home in his body. whatever it is (doctors are working hard to figure it out) he needs prayer.

he's making small improvements...baby steps toward walking out the door of the hospital. and for that, we're praising GOD!

although i'm a bit nervous about it, i've made my facebook profile public so that my dad's friends and friends of friends can get updates easily.

if you'd like updates, you can look me up, too...even if you don't have a facebook...

bday pics...as promised. :)

2009-10-21T20:06:00.006-04:00

okay, sorry for taking so long to post these...

my camera sat on the counter the whole time, so these are pictures stolen from misc. places. :)

here's the bday princess putting on her lipstick.

i know i look horrible, but this is my sneaky face...that's my BFF hilary. and that tiny head popping outta the sling is her newborn baby, emilyann. hilary thought that she was getting one of her first mommy/daughter pictures and i slid in the back...thus my goofy face. my normal face is goofy, too...but not usually that goofy. :)these are ellie's friends maia and sammy (held by the each other's moms--allyson and annie)...the exciting part of this picture is both of those mommas are paper-preggo, again!! yay!!ellie LOVES jewelry...loves. loves. loves it!okay, hehe...this picture is so funny. first, take a look at chante's face...(she's my other BFF!) she's in the purple shiny shirt...hehe! that's a look of shock/horror on her face...

now look at ellie. there she is in the middle about to throw-down. she opened up her shopping cart full of food (a gift from her big brother) and josiah (notice the 'chips' tube in his hand)...josiah snagged it from the cart before she had a chance to peruse her goodies...and well, that wasn't okay w/ her...she's about to go "orphanage tough" on him. it's really kinda funny to watch...well, not so funny for poor josiah. he's a tough guy but he didn't stand a chance...he's lucky he walked away with all of his fingers.

this was her first big present experience. of course, she's gotten presents before, but never in bulk! hehe...she had to try on every-single-one before she'd move on to the next one...

here she is trying on her new purple sparkle shoes (w/ godmother auntie 'te)
this is pre-party...with her favorite person EVER...NONNIE!
the princess and her GG...
how cute are my kids???
so, there they are...ellie's first second(ish) birthday party pictures...such an awesome day!

eating...

2009-10-16T21:35:00.003-04:00

so, i should let you know up front, i refuse to be a short-order cook. the way it goes in our house, is mommy makes dinner and you eat it. now obviously, i know my kids don't like to eat everything and i take that into consideration...and i'm more than willing to alter what i've made for the family to accommodate your preferences...

tonight is a perfect example.

i made beef stroganoff. (on a side note, i make really, really good beef stroganoff!) now, i think i cook beef probably once a monthish. so, it makes sense that brayden wouldn't want to eat it...he's used to white meat so beef is weird...he also doesn't like anything on his noodles. so, tonight, he had plain noodles...but...the rule is you have to take a taste (seriously, i require the smallest bite!)...so here's my story about tonight's dinner. :)

brayden started dinner with his "taste" bite...and while he chewed it, he couldn't convince himself to swallow it...so he took it out and put it on his sister's placemat...

we continued dinner and of course, ellie ate everything on her plate...

...and then she noticed the 1/2 chewed piece on the side of her placemat...

...yep.

...she ate it.

...and she looked at brayden and said:

..."brayden yum"

yep.

like, dude, i like this stuff...even the abc (as in what the 3rd graders say already-been-chewed!) beef is tasty...

we were all laughing and gagging at the same time...

here's a picture of them mid-meal. :)

ps. if you're looking for the piece of chewed meat...it's on the right side ellie's placemat, in between the two blue circles...

okay, i know it's super gross, but i thought it was too funny to not share... :)

the big day...

2009-10-11T22:16:00.002-04:00

i'm exhausted...so, i'll blog all about the big day tomorrow(ish!)...

but here's a preview picture...

actually, it's the only picture i took! here's hoping family and friends email me some soon!

can you guess the party's theme??

birthday girl...

2009-10-11T10:01:00.002-04:00

a day in the life...

2009-10-08T19:02:00.002-04:00

thought you'd like a quick glimpse of yesterday's visit w/ my grammie and cousin missy (aka GG and auntie missy)...

as you'll see by the videos...ellie is S.L.O.W.L.Y overcoming her fear of the four-legged monster (aka the doggy). actually, this really does show a drastic improvement...when she first came face to face (aka a dog within a 100 foot radius) she would scream in terror...

she does still scream, but they're short and quick and then she remembers it's not going to eat her...

in this video, grammie gets confused on how a phone can also be a video-camera...

this video also gives you a snapshot into the fight for mommy's attention, too. :)

more to come tomorrow...

nearby...

2009-10-03T16:17:00.002-04:00

here's the first picture (i know, i'm lame and it's taken me 3 months) of ellie with her GG.

...

2009-10-03T11:25:00.004-04:00

i googled ellie's birthplace.

i had absolutely no clue that seeing a picture would stir up such deep emotions.

emotions for me because that's where my baby lived.

it's where she was born.

it's where her birthmom lives.

it's where she's experienced so many of life's firsts.

i'm overwhelmed.

i'm humbled.

i'm unbelievably thankful for my little girl.

my little girl from arjo.

literally half-way around the world.

it's tribe time now...

2009-10-01T21:29:00.003-04:00

okay, so the cleveland indians suck.

and it hasn't really been tribe time all year...but last night was ellie's first tribe game...and i needed a catchy title, so there it is. :)

as it turns out...both of the kiddos first indians' games were seen from some of the best seats in the stadium...who'd have thought that the logue brayden watched from would be old news compared to the dugout logue ellie cheered from?!?

a picture's worth a thousand words...and since i'm trying to blog during the commercials on

during grey's anatomy...i'll have more pictures and less words.

enjoy. :)

ps. yes, i know this is a horrible family picture...

long awaited...

2009-09-28T18:45:00.007-04:00

okay, i get the picture. sheesh. no need to send all the hate mail! :) (just kidding, kinda)

i couldn't find the cord to plug the camera into the computer. i continue to put it in a new drawer thinking i'll remember better where i've put it...but never can remember when i need it.

i might just start sticking to taking pictures on my cell phone. then i can just email them to myself.

okay, i know now that i have kids, it's no longer about me!

anyway, here are the long awaited pictures...

they had an awesome playground for the kids...

what she's missing in height, she makes up for in personality.

he's slouching.
climbing.riding the tire swing..."driving" a tractor...ellie liked the BIG one.going on their first hayride...we went w/ our neighbors...

the hayride was so long it got dark while we were out...which meant pumpkin pickin' in the dark! ellie pickin' her pumpkin.

brayden searched and searched for the perfect one!

then we went in the maze...ellie wasn't so sure about all of that!

and just because i made you wait so long, here's a video, too...

(sorry about my deep voice/heavy breathing. i've got a cold!)

and i'm sure i don't need to mention, but clearly, we're "city" folk.

ps. if you're reading this on facebook and the video doesn't show up...you can view it on our blog...

www.paperpregnantpopas.blogspot.com (it automatically uploads to my blog, but videos don't always follow that direction!)

teaser...

2009-09-25T23:28:00.001-04:00

we had a super fun night tonight...pumpkin patch, hay ride, maze...corn...and then fireworks (which ellie hated)...but we just got home, it's super late.

pictures and more info coming tomorrow...sorry for the teaser!

ummm....okay?

2009-09-19T22:22:00.001-04:00

this is not exactly what i had in mind when i said "please put your shoes away."

eyes that see...

2009-09-18T13:30:00.007-04:00

i've been waiting all week to post about this. writing and re-writing this blog in my head. and even now, sitting here with my laptop (and two kitties purring on my lap) i'm having trouble figuring out how to get started. i had hoped to have a well-written, articulate blog post. one that would spur whomever has the pleasure (and by pleasure, i mean time to procrastinate from doing what they should be doing!) of reading my blog into thought themselves.

however, that's not going to happen. i've already wasted 41 minutes of precious naptime typing, then deleting, typing, then deleting. and well, soon naptime will be over and another day will have passed without my putting anything into the blog-o-sphere. (is that a word? i'm going to have to google that and see if anything comes up.)

lately, i've had the opportunity to be a wall flower in one of my online adoption groups. it's a big group and i rarely participate much anyway...but lately i've been like a sponge. absorbing the discussions, listening, learning, challenging what i think i think. it's been great...and scary.

you see...

i have peach skin.

ellie has brown skin.

broken down, those two sentences seem so small. small enough that they can be easily glossed over. but they're not small. they're powerful. they have huge implications. these two small sentences weigh heavily on my heart. because while i wish love was enough to conquer all and because while it would be wonderful to live in a place where everyone is colorblind it isn't and we don't. and really, we'd miss out on all of the beauty diversity has to offer.

so for now, i'll continue to quietly listen and learn...and relish in knowing that i'm privileged enough to be the momma of an ethiopian princess.

dedication leads to progression...

2009-09-17T22:08:00.004-04:00

dedication...

my dearest ann marie,

thank you so much for the reminder that while i am clearly addicted to crackbook, i mean facebook, i must not let down my one loyal blog follower. thus, this blog is dedicated to you...

much love,

meg

ps. be ready, because i'm planning on drinking coffee in the morning and tomorrow's blog (yep, i've been mulling it over all week) will be full of ramblings and tangents!

so...here it is...

progression...

as you know, we LOVE visiting the zoo. we're members of the pittsburg zoo, actually (long story, but basically, we went to visit the pittsburg zoo and found out that my cleveland zoo membership had just expired. rather than pay the $ just to get in that day, we bought the membership because most zoos (and aquariums) have reciprocity, so you can get in to many of them w/ your one membership...you should look into that!)

anyway, you know we love the zoo. right now, dinosaurs are visiting the cleveland zoo. and while brayden's first love is still sea creatures...dinos are quickly inching in on the throne to his heart.

so, we frequent the dinos alot. brayden loves them and ellie...well...

here's a picture of the two of them on their first trip to the dinos. notice the look on ellie's face. she's NOT digging it.

"face your fears". yep. that's what i say to her. (and yes, i totally get that i'm hypocritical because every time i put her up on that dino i think, how would i react if someone gave me a spider and said "face your fears"...it wouldn't go well, that's all i can say).

so here she is...facing her fears for the first time...

our next visit, as you can see, progress was slow...

brayden had to really hold on to her to keep her on the dino.

which totally paid off because here's a picture from our trip today...

progress.

apparently, there really IS something to the "face your fears" approach.

i don't care. i still don't like spiders.

see

2009-09-12T09:09:00.002-04:00

my grammie has naturally curly hair. she passed that gene on to all three of her daughters (even though my mom has loose curls that she blow-dries straight every morning). my grammie has 6 grandkids...3 of us were blessed w/ the curls (depending on our ages, genders, and current hairstyles blessed could be replaced with cursed).

anyway, i have many, many memories of getting my hair done while i was growing up. and while i remember my mom french braiding a crown around my head, or my daddy just throwing it all up in a pile, covering it w/ a baseball hat and giving instructions to "keep the hat on", or even when i was a teenager spending many evenings sitting on the floor while my mom ironed my hair (yes w/ an iron on the ironing board!)...what sticks out the most in my mind is sitting on the toilet lid, holding the water bottle and no-more-tangles bottle as my momma brushed. and brushed. and brushed. i wasn't allowed to say "ouchie". (as an adult i totally get that rule!) so it became a game to see how many 'rhyming words' we could say instead. ...i still remember the phrase i'd use. "oochie. woochie. coochie..." (i won't bore you!)

...fast-forward twenty-five-ish years (yikes, that made me feel super old!) and here i am, sitting on the couch w/ my own beautiful curly girl sitting on the floor, holding her spray bottle and detangler spray.

okay, so all of that reminiscing above was just a huge tangent...here's the real story i was planning on sharing...perhaps i can stay on-task. :) hehe...

every morning, i turn on a tv show (usually dinosaur train--have you seen it? it's new on PBS. it's great for dino lovers AND has an underlying adoptionish theme. okay. i see i'm rambling again. DT is going to have to have its own blog soon).

so, ellie and i sit on the floor and couch and she holds the spray bottles and watches her show and i get to attempt all kinds of fun hairstyles. as her hair grows, i'm gaining confidence and i'm willing to branch away from my comfort zone of puffs! :)

anyway, when she's done, i say "let me see" and she stands up and turns around to face me. and i always say the same thing "oooh, so preeeettty!" (okay, sometimes i say, "shoot, that's really off center. sit down for just a second more so you don't go out looking like your mommy doesn't have a clue." but usually i say "oooh, so preeeettty!"

so this past week, as i put down the brush, ellie has said "mommy, see!! see!!!" and then she hops up and says "oooh, so preeettttty." but she's getting smarter. today, in the MIDDLE of doing her hair she said "all-done. see! oooh, so prettty!" and ran away before i could grab her ...ummm...yea, not so much kid. 1/2 of your hair is sticking up. but, it was a nice try. and i'm impressed...

...and in trouble when she's a teenager!

first day of preschool...again...

2009-09-09T13:36:00.003-04:00

i've done this before.

twice before actually.

but today was different. today, brayden went off to preschool and ellie and i went home. i've always dropped him off and then walked down the hallway to my own classroom.

but not today. today school started. we dropped brayden off and then rode away...today is my first offical day as a complete stay-home momma...

he did great. he's a preschool pro...

the best part of his day? his new spiderman backpack. :)

anway, thought you might enjoy this little trip down first-day-of-preschool memory lane...

first day of "little eccoh"s... 2.5 years old.first day of 3-day-3s...first day of 3 day 4s...

and just because ellie hasn't met a camera she didn't love...

correction...

2009-09-07T09:19:00.003-04:00

good thing names aren't set in stone. :)

we asked brayden this morning what nimbus meant and he said something about a dark cloud meaning it was going to rain. ...and of course, he mentioned about his love for them. :)

then we asked what toadus meant and he said it was the twirly clouds high in the sky. when i said "cirrus?" he said, "yea. that's what i said. cirrus."

...so, name correction...

NIMBUS and CIRRUS.

just when i thought my big boy was thinking out of the box and using his imagination... ;)

what happens...

2009-09-06T19:28:00.002-04:00

what happens when your son draws a picture of this???look closely and you'll see a drawing of him (he's on the right) crying because he is "super-douber allie-uper sad" about leaving ukle's new baby kitten. on the left, is the baby kitten, named intruder.

you see, yesterday we went to visit my parents and my bro & SIL brought their new kitty. brayden was a goner. he played so gently, so sweetly, so well with their little kitty for hours. HOURS! he cried the whole way home...and when we went back today for sunday brunch, he did the same thing...

...so, we decided...

when your kid loves kitties...

and you have two kids...

you might as well bring home TWO! :)

brayden named them both...in the picture above, nimbus is on the right (remember that name?) and then toadus is on the left. yep. toad-US. brayden named them both. i think he maybe made the name toadus up. but whatever. he digs them.

and here's a picture of everyone together...

that's about as close as ellie will get right now...and brayden's getting scratched, so that's why he's making that face.

pregnancy tests

2009-08-25T14:56:00.005-04:00

disclaimer... from the title of this blog, you should know it contains TMI.. :)

i honestly can't even give a ballpark figure of how many ovulation sticks and pregnancy tests i've peed on. seriously, i'm sure it's way over 100. i remember once hearing holly berry talk about having a drawer full of pregnancy tests and thought "talk about going over the deep end..."

yea. i've had that drawer. i've peed on way more than my fair share of sticks. and since brayden, they've always been negative.

the drawer has been empty for over a year...because we don't get pregnant that way. :)

anyway...

the other day while we were driving, i started a conversation george and i have had a million times, but has been on pause since january (if you don't know why, you can read about it here). but on sunday, it came up. as out of the blue and naturally as it used to.

meg: "what do you think of the name owen?"

george: "eh, that's not it."

yep...that was it a two lined conversation. two sentences. two sentences that indicate the popas are still thinking about our meant-to-be. after living the past year, we know way better than to set our plans in stone. we know things will happen as God has planned and we'll strive to live up to His task. we'd always planned on 4 kids. but when you have maternity coverage, bio kids are cheap (and fun!) to get... ;)

but that's why that two sentence exchange was so important. it means we believe MTB is out there. and while financially, we're not yet ready to pursue finding him, when the time is right the popas will be paper pregnant again...

favorite.

2009-08-24T22:47:00.004-04:00

this commercial came on again, today. i know it's old. but i love it. seriously. not only do i giggle every time i see it, i have been known to rewind (LOVE DVR!) it just to watch it again...

i'll admit. i've watched it like 5 times already...

...okay, make that 6...

;)

2009-08-23T22:21:00.001-04:00

i love this boy.

here's the picture he drew of ellie..."she just woke up."

firsts

2009-08-22T19:00:00.004-04:00

so obviously, bringing a toddler into your family means you miss alot of the traditional "firsts"

...her first giggle, first step, first word, first tooth.

some things can be replicated...first step in america. first word in english. first giggle w/ her brother. and other things, well, we give up and celebrate other, silly firsts instead.

today was such an instance...

...ellie's first amusement park.

we have a little kiddie park about 1/2 hour away. both george and i have pictures documenting our first times going to the memphis kiddie park as little ones, so it was only right to continue the tradition and celebrate ellie's first time enjoying all the rides for the under 50 inches crowd.

here are some of my favorites from today's trip...

ellie and daddy riding in the caboose of the train.

mommy and brayden (notice ellie behind us) on his favorite ride...the train.

i love this one...they're both practically making the same face!

mommy's favorite...merry-go-round.i say "say cheese" and this is what they do. clearly, goofiness runs in our family.

here's a little video...can you hear them laughing?

nicknames...

2009-08-21T13:53:00.003-04:00

when brayden was born, i called him peanut. as he grew, peanut morphed into peanut butter.

so, we're playing w/ nicknames for ellie until we find the perfect fit...

she's a snuggler, so my guess is "snuggle" may become part of the name...

here are a couple pictures i snapped w/ my cellphone. i know they're not great shots, but i'm usually on the bottom of the pile, so centering the camera isn't really top priority! :)

lovin' this!!

2009-08-13T22:47:00.001-04:00

i can't hardly believe it...

2009-08-12T23:21:00.002-04:00

it's been TWO months!

i've gone back and forth about posting my "video diary" of the first day we met. i hadn't watched it in a while...i just watched it now and it's so raw. too personal to put out here for the whole world to see (don't worry, i don't really think the whole world reads my blog, but i'm afraid of who might come across it at some point, ya know?)

tonight i watched the video.
it's 1 min 15 seconds long.
it still made me cry.
she hated me and even though i anticipated that, the rejection was horrible and painful. and even though i've been a mommy for 4 1/2 years, i felt so unprepared, so upside-down, so clueless...a nanny had to show me how to put her to sleep.
those feelings--and knowing what she must have been feeling--they're still fresh.

but now, she's been tangable. a real part of me for 2 months. 2 months of not loving her from afar. 2 months of kisses and giggles and snuggles and baths. ahhh...2 months as a family of four!

picasso...or something...

2009-08-06T12:45:00.003-04:00

do you think i might have a future picasso on my hands?
2 kids doubles the chances...right? :)

ellie's first time painting...she wanted to drink the paintbrush water (don't worry. brayden nearly had a heartattack...and didn't let her!)

he takes painting very seriously!

love...at first sight...

2009-08-01T13:23:00.002-04:00

Friday, October 24, 2008

4:57 pm

this picture landed in my email box.

i remember crying the second my eyes landed on her.

i remember thinking "she looks like an ellyse."

i memorized every inch of this pixelated photo.

it was all we had for nearly 3 months.

it was all we needed to fall in love.

ellie's referral picture...

tea time..

2009-07-28T20:57:00.004-04:00

you need a bit of background info to understand these two pictures...

you see, ellie kinda has two sets of godparents. we had asked my best friend chante and her (soon-to-be) fiance' doston to be ellie's godparents. and we asked our dear neighbors, angie and jerome to be evan's godparents. since it wasn't in God's plan for evan to join our family yet, angie and jerome have claimed ellie as theirs...and so, they are ellie's second set...just until they get a popa godchild of their own. :)

i snapped these pictures yesterday of ellie and jerome...

only ellie can get a grown man to throw up his pinky and enjoy a spot of tea on the front lawn...

pictures...

2009-07-27T20:20:00.003-04:00

so, i had to crop this one to ummm...keep the cleavage in check. :)

no beach is worth visiting w/o train tracks...

on the hunt for shells... i just love this one...

she's so sweet...

*disclaimer, i DO buckle up my children. i promise.*

first vacation...

2009-07-27T20:13:00.004-04:00

my aunt offered us some time in a "beach house" (brayden's terminology) in marblehead last week. it's about a 5 minute drive from the beach and even has a community pool.

we arrived on wednesday, we being me and the kiddoS (i love typing that word!). my BFF hilary joined us w/ her 3 year old. and although it was drizzling, we went to the beach. the kids had a BLAST and didn't even notice it was raining. when we hopped in the van to go back to the house, they mentioned the rain and couldn't believe they had played in it for a couple hours. (it was a slight drizzle-no lightning or thunder-don't worry).

george joined us after work on wednesday night and we had a nice relaxing evening...hilary left the next afternoon and we basically spent the entire time at the beach or pool (when it wasn't naptime, of course!).

here are a few of my favorite pictures from our first vacation as a family of FOUR!

yikes!

2009-07-27T20:02:00.002-04:00

i may win the worst blogger of the month award! so sorry to be so behind on the blogs.

it's been crazy busy here, as you'd expect and well, computer time is fairly limited. :) ellie is sleeping in her crib, all night long...but requires that i be there when she falls asleep.

she's been taking about 45 minutes to fall asleep, but once she's asleep, it's so cute. after about 3 minutes, her little head pops up and she says "momma?" and checks to make sure i'm still in the room. i was busted walking out once. that didn't go over well. and well...i now wait until the "momma" check has happened before sneaking out!

ellie's receptive language is really growing by leaps and bounds. which is wonderful! when you ask her a question and her answer is yes, instead of saying yes, she does this quick little voiced inhale. i'll have to get it on video--still haven't found my flip. :(

expressively, she says :
mommy, daddy, brayden, george, meg, baby, ball, up, no, wah-dada (water), all-done, sit-down, careful, gentle, nice, poop, i-love-you, bye-bye, good-night, hello, and hi.

new words

2009-07-09T20:34:00.003-04:00

"cookie"

my college BFF, nicole, made us a fabulous dinner tonight and brought the kids HUGE froggie cookies for dessert. the frosting was nearly 2 inches high on these things...

when they were done, i took the kids outside an hosed them off.

no. i'm not kidding.

i'll post those pictures tomorrow. :)

homeward bound...

2009-07-08T20:52:00.005-04:00

friday 6/19-saturday 6/20

you know, when you think about the flight times-departure and arrival times-it doesn't seem SO bad...
leaving friday 6/19 at 10:15pm
arriving saturday 6/20 at 8:05 am

10 hours...that's not so intimidating...it's the addition of the time difference of 7 hours that makes that flight killer.

20 hours on an airplane.

20 hours anywhere is intimidating...but in a flying tube with a little one...is well, terror inducing!

we boarded the plane and ellie started to cry and i thought, "oh no! i'm gonna be the girl. there's one every flight and it's gonna be me!! the girl w/ the kid who cries the WHOLE TIME! oh no, 20 hours. i'm not gonna make it!" (yes, i realize that was completely selfish thinking, but i'm being honest here)

but PTL, ellie fell asleep after the 10 minutes (before we took off) and slept for the next 9 hours. yep. we moved her into her bassinet and she kept sleeping. we took turns sleeping, because those bassinets are small and she could totally roll right out!

ellie woke up just as breakfast was being served (no shocker there!) so she dug in w/o a second thought. turns out, our new friends had the seats right next to us, which was fun for the girls. since we're being honest, hour 12 was tough for me. i started to panic...you know that little screen that shows where the airplane is on your journey...i was looking at that and all i saw was water (and a little bit of europe)...i didn't even see america yet. and i panicked. i thought, she's been wonderful these past 12 hours...but she's rested and fed...so now what are we going to do w/ the other 8? my dad took ellie watch and i closed my eyes and prayed and fell asleep...waking up at hour 14, which wasn't nearly as daunting! :)

we landed in DC, made it thru customs, immigration, and everything else...it was really neat watching all the people in the line w/ their sealed manila envelopes in hand!...grabbed some breakfast/dinner (it was about 9:30 am in DC, but 4:30 pm according to our bodies!)...then we began the wait.

i already blogged the rest of the story, so click here to read it. :)

and if you wanna see the pictures of our first moments as a forever family of four, well, click that! :)

here are my TWO munchkins their first morning together!!

ethiopia day 8

2009-07-08T20:36:00.003-04:00

this was our guest house.

friday 6/19

WE'RE GOING HOME!

all day, i've kept thinking "this time tomorrow..." ahhh....my boys. i just can't wait to get my hands on my boys. they're still too far away to actually let myself think about them...oooh, we're getting close!

i had promised birhane's birth mom that we would come and say our last good-bye before leaving, so we went to the care center to do that. we didn't stay long...it's tough for birhane to go there. i'm sure it's confusing to her. i can't imagine what was going thru her birthmom's mind as we said good-bye. she handled her self with such grace.

we packed up our stuff, had lunch and basically sat around waiting until 5:30 to head off to the airport. i cannot say how difficult this is. leaving kim. i put up a wall because i can't bear to think about it...
...once it was time to go, we hugged kim and my dad prayed over her. i hope it helped her because i don't know how she's going to make it...all alone...please Lord, let monday come quickly. i've decided i'll call her daily to check in and see how she's doing. i'm sure just getting to hear some fluent english will be helpful...

we arrived at the airport super early. super early. but we really, really wanted to try to upgrade our seats to business class. earlier this week, the guy at the hilton (where we checked in to ET air) said there were 14 seats still available, but that there were a few couples inquiring about the cost of an upgrade. there's a HUGE price difference between upgrading early and upgrading at the airport. i could only swing the cost of the first-come, first-served airport approach...so, we'd been praying! :)

anyway, we got to the airport and saw another couple doing the same thing we did! the guy checking us in was super nice and thinking ahead. he upgraded our seats AND booked a bassinet for us (i didn't even think to ask!). with fabulous tickets in hand, we headed off to the business class lounge.

yep. business class lounge. i didn't even know places like that existed! boy, do the rich live nicely! there was internet access, all the food/drinks/alcohol one could want, and such comfy seating. we made friends w/ a couple who were bringing home their 11 month old baby girl...soon to be known as birdie! :) we hung w/ them and the 4 hours flew by!

i couldn't believe it was time to board the plane...

ethiopia day 7

2009-07-06T21:45:00.002-04:00

thursday 6.18

wow. what a day. a day full of every emotion...

basically, this morning we woke up and got ready for the embassy. i spent all morning just trying not to throw-up. i was worried i'd have a paperwork glitch because well, one parent traveling can be tricky, let alone the parent w/out any income! i had back-up for my back-up paperwork, so i didn't really think we'd be in any trouble, but still, one never knows for sure.

the embassy was quite an experience. i'm glad kim had gone thru it before, so she was able to figure out which way to turn and which steps to go up! :) when our name was called, my dad and i went to our window...the guy said "raise your hands and swear blah, blah, blah"...we did. :) then he said "george, sign here." ...my dad said "i'm not george" (side note...my dad said he will on his death bed still recall the look the guy gave me right then...basically, a you're-in-trouble kinda look)...i panicked and said "wait, what do you need. i have it...i have it!" and he rattled off a few forms (all of which i had) pulled out his white out, said "you filed these forms wrong" (i'd never seen the ones he whited out, but whatever!)...and fixed 'em (he may just have a i-can-lord-this-over-you attitude...grrr...that irritates me!) but whatever...2 minutes later, he said "congratulations...pick up her visa tomorrow before 11:00"...and it was over!

we made it...WE'RE COMING HOME!!!

...but the happy feelings ended quickly because kim indeed ran into the glitch we were praying she could avoid and it looks like she's going to be stuck here until monday. :( oh, how my heart hurts for her.

dr. alem took us to an ethiopian restaurant to celebrate (is it called an ethiopian restaurant in ethiopia?)...anyway, he took us for a traditional ethiopian meal. it was amazing. we drank tej. (i don't know if i spelled that right, but it's the honey wine. it was actually kinda good in a too sweet kinda way!) our meal was amazing. the girls were great. everything would have been perfect, had we been able to celebrate with kim...but we couldn't. her heart was broken at knowing she wouldn't be leaving with us and how much she misses her kids. uggh, i cry just thinking about it.

when we got back to the guest house, i was supposed to go with kim to videotape her BM meeting. dr. alem went out with my dad...but that's his story, so i'll let him tell it! hehe...suffice it to say, they had a great time and he saw alot more of ethiopia! :) and i got quite a surprise! the taxi came to pick me up and the driver (whom we called "al") wouldn't tell me where we were going!

he dropped me off at a SPA!! yep...agitu surprised me with a spa treat!! :) ellie ran around the place for a couple hours while her mama got pampered (she did, too! they braided her hair so cute!!)...i got a manicure and pedicure and they straightened my hair! aahh...it was such a nice surprise! it would have been nicer to have someone to share it with, but oh, what a wonderful treat! (had i known i would have umm...showered this morning! LOL!) oh well...

so, here's my silly tangent story...when i was done at the spa, they called my driver to come pick me back up. and it was funny, the receptionist at the spa spoke pretty decent english...so she walked us out and waited with me until my driver picked me up. anyway, she asked if i would recognize his car. i said probably not (because it was dark now)...and she said "will your driver know you?" and i thought, well, sheesh, he should. he's driven us a few times now...but oh, my curly hair is poker straight. of course he won't recognize me. i look totally different with straight hair. and so that's basically what i told her. she tried (unsuccessfully) to stifle her laugh...and i thought, "what??" until i realized...um, curly hair or not, i'm like the only white girl around! duh, of course he'll still recognize me...i'm the white girl in front of the spa!! hahaha...i started laughing and then i thought she was gonna pee her pants laughing so hard!! hehe...

okay, so after my wonderful spa treatments, we went off to the next "surprise"...it was getting late and i was so worried about who was videotaping kim's BM meeting...but off we went to the old BFAS guesthouse. there was a wonderful celebratory meal and bonfire waiting for us there...AND KIM! (turns out her BM meeting didn't happen) we had to wait because my dad still wasn't back w/ the dr...but we let the girls eat. then we ate their delicious celebration meal and enjoyed the bonfire before heading back to our guesthouse for bed.

what a wonderful night.and tomorrow is our last wake-up...my heart beats so fast when i think about it...our family is almost together again!!!

ps. don't judge the picture...just look at my pretty straight hair! i didn't shower this morning and well, that's what i look like sans make-up.

pps. i don't have any other pictures from today because you can't take any electronics to the US embassy and i didn't have time to grab anything before my surprises began!

ethiopia day 6

2009-07-06T21:17:00.002-04:00

wednesday 6.17
today started off really pretty great, but honestly i'm not sure how it's going to end...

we went to the hilton again (yes, i remembered my flashdrive!) to hit the internet...but more importantly, to try out their playground. the girls (berhane and sefan) love to be outside playing. the guesthouse we're at doesn't really accommodate the running around playing kiddos like to do. there's some space when the car isn't in the courtyard, but the playground was fabulous!my dad took berhane to swing and slide and twirl around on the merry-go-round while i checked my email and facebook. i tried to upload onto blogger all of my blogs, but after trying to post for a 1/2 hour i gave up. :( guess i'll have to get it up once i get home. basically, so far, bringing my laptop has been a big bust!

anyway, my dad and berhane came back and i took her to the playground so he could check in w/ his email...and it was great! the playground wasn't really anything spectacular, but berhane came to life! it was the first real time i've heard her giggle. she's lightning quick getting from the stairs to the slide (like freak momma out quick because i've gotta catch her!) but i was able to get some great pictures of her on the slides...she sticks her little tongue out, too. (which, by the way...i totally think she has a geographic tongue! --look it up!)

after the hilton, we came back to the house for lunch. i put berhane down for her nap and kim and i headed off to the care center. sefan had an appointment for her TB testing, so we figured it was a great time to get to the care center w/o our kiddos. we walked there (luckily, i remembered the way-not that it's really complicated, but still, i was impressed w/ myself!).

it was so neat. the whole time i kept thinking "oh my gosh. i'm walking the streets of africa. AFRICA! it's something i'd thought of years ago in elementary school but not really since then. i was just blown away. the sights, sounds, everything was just amazing. i'll admit, i was a little nervous on the walk there...because sometimes the unknown is a bit scary...but it was such neat experience and i'm so glad kim suggested we do it (i was all for getting a taxi!).

we were able to get some great sibling shots...i hope i'm organized enough to get the pictures to the parents quickly. i know how much i appreciated that when traveling APs came home. waiting for those little updated pictures can be tough...hopefully the jetlag won't be too bad!

we didn't stay too long because we knew we had to get back for the girls...

apparently, sefan missed her TB appointment and the next one is scheduled for FRIDAY...this is NOT GOOD because she's supposed to be on a flight out friday night...which if things go the way we think they may, she won't be on that flight. i'm praying for a miracle. the thought of leaving her here alone is horrifying. i feel bad for the girl who was supposed to take sefan, because she got reamed by dr. alem...but this might be very, very bad.i know how my heart aches for brayden and george. my arms even ache for them...we've been away so long. this whole journey is wonderful...i can't believe how beautiful and amazing ellie's homeland is. but it is so hard to be away from the other parts of my family. we're not whole...and i can't wait until we are complete and together...that's my fear about kim...i'm lucky to have my dad here with me. helping me...especially when the homesickness sets in (he always says "don't go there. block it out. don't go there...")...Lord, please give kim a miracle.

ethiopia day 5

2009-07-04T14:03:00.003-04:00

tuesday 6.16

kim moved into notool today. BFAS's policy is that you have to stay at their GH to have custody of your kiddo...and she's decided that pay what she had to pay to have her little sefan with her. (there's quite a price difference between the 2 places). so, she'll be with us...which i think will be grat for sefan. no more back and forth for her.

we went to the BFAS office today. we didn't know where the office was located in the building, so i'm amazed we found it so quickly...but i kinda think that it's bigger than i thought it was. we met w/ the secretary and went over our paperwork, line for line, which was good. i was so worried we'd find an issue with my paperwork, i copied everything off of kim's papers, LOL...at least everything but her name! :) we were able to see our adoption decrees and birth certificates...so, ellie is 20 months...her birthday is october 11, 2007! wahoo, she's under 2, so i don't have to buy her a ticket coming home! :) that's exciting because we're really, really going to try to upgrade our tickets to business class coming home and there's no way i can afford to upgrade 3 tickets.anyway, while we were at the office, the secretary made a comment, like she'd never seen parents so organized, hehe, kim and i both had all of our papers in binders, flipping thru everything, it was kinda funny. thank God kim is as hyper vigilent as i am! (or she'd think i'm a freak!) but we both wanna be on that flight home friday night...and we don't want a little mis-crossed "t" to complicate things!

we went to the hilton (again!) to get online...and we did!! i had a couple hundred emails already! yikes! which was tough because it was hard to figure out which ones to answer and which ones to leave until we get home...all w/in the 1/2 hour time i bought (and had to share with my dad!) and i can't believe i forgot my flashdrive! ahhh...i can't believe it...so, i wasn't able to upload my blogs or pictures! grrrr....i'm so irritated w/ myself for that!
we ate some lasagna for lunch at the hilton (well, kim and i ate lasagna, daddy ate fish n chips!)...and ellie ate...everything! have i mentioned this girl's ability to eat yet? she can put down WAY more than i can...and that's saying alot! ALOT!! i can't believe how her little personality is emerging every day! she becomes more comfortable with us and shows her true colors! today, in fact, when a nanny put her arms out to hold ellie, she gave the cold shoulder! yep. she didn't want the nanny!!! wahoo!!!!!

then we went to the haile selassie store. it has fixed prices, so we didn't have to haggle. we plan on going back because we didn't bring enough money with us the first time. (my dad always wants to make sure he has extra money on hand, just in case!) plus, there's stuff i thought about buying and didn't...so when we go back, i'm totally buying it! :) the majority of what we brought with us was donations, so of the 200 lbs, probably only like 20 were our clothes...which means we have a ton of room for the trip home!

we now look at the planes going up at night counting down the number of wake-ups until we get home...just 3 more!!

ethiopia day 4

2009-07-04T13:56:00.003-04:00

monday 6.15

ellie's been going to bed around 7:30-8:00 every night. she goes down so easily! i'm sure when we get home things will change, but for now it's cake! but i'm not convinced she'll stay asleep all night, every night...so, when she goes to bed, i 'kinda' go to bed...i climb into my jammies and sit on our bed w/ my laptop (when there is electricity) and grab our flashlights.my dad usually joins us around 9ish. and that's kinda my favorite time of the day. we sit there and talk..."like girlfriends"...i get in trouble for shining the flashlight in my dad's eyes (yep, like a little kid) but i laugh so hard about things we're tlaking about. these nights have been such an amazing gift!

we had our birthmother meeting today. the real, true official one. it was a little tricky at first because beti, who was going to be interpreter was a little late...so we kinda mimed our way thru the beginning...thank God kim had a simple adoption phrases book, so we were able to (poorly!) use that...her BM gave us such a gift by allowing us this meeting.

we went to the hilton to get online...but of course, it was down, so we couldn't get on!!! ahh...i want to hear "you've got mail" so badly...i wonder how many emails i have sitting there. we decided to head to kim's guesthouse because there's internet there...but of course, it was down when we went there, too...so, we played outside w/ the girls...and that's when i saw it...ellie's first real smile! yep. our poor girl must have been so bored couped up inside the GH, with us trying to occupy her! she loves to run around outside and play! tomorrow, we're going to the hilton again to play outside...because they have a playground.

sefan and another little guy went to an embassy medical appt. the kiddos came back to the guesthouse and played for hours...it was neat to watch them interacting and we got some great pictures/video of that little man for his momma. (she'll be coming like next week to bring him home!).

have i mentioned that this girlie LOVES to eat!?!!

ethiopia day 3...

2009-07-03T20:22:00.004-04:00

sunday 6.14

agitu called last night to offer us a ride to the church she attends while in ethiopia. we thought about taking her up on the offer...but when we woke up this morning, my dad was really not feeling well. there wasn't any water when we woke up (the girls went out to buy some, but weren't back yet) and he got pretty dehydrated. we think it was probably dehydration/altitude sickness (we totally forgot about that!). luckily, daniel (the man agitu had asked to come take us to church) arrived and saw how sick my dad was...he was worried, so he went out immediately and got him a big ol' jug of water...wonderful daniel!

so...we didn't make it to church.

instead we went to Kidane Merhet to visit our friend jen's son. her little guy is stuck in the abandonment ban. :( first of all, i've read alot about KM and it seriously is big. big. big...but i was really impressed. we showed up, totally unannounced and met the nuns. i showed them a picture of jen's little guy and i'm not kidding, sister L (i can't remember her name!) was like, oh, go upstairs turn right, then go into that building, go to the first floor, turn right. he'll be in the first room on the right.
seriously!!! all those kiddos and she knew EXACTLY where he was. it was so obvious that those kiddos were loved. we were able to get great pictures and video for jen...but it was tough to be there. i wasn't ready for the overwhelming guilt i felt while leaving. i held her baby. i kissed her little guy for her. for her because she wasn't there yet. we were supposed to travel together and instead we got to spend just a few minutes with her little man. it breaks my heart. but he's good. he's really good. he looks great and he'll be fine while he waits for her...

tomorrow is my "official" birthmother meeting. i say official because well, i already met ellie's birthmom twice. long story, one i'm not going to blog about...and although i was caught off-guard, i'm glad to have more than one opportunity to meet her and get pictures.

ellie's continuing to adjust to me! :) today, she would put her arms out to come to me!! wahoo!! i think i'm growing on her! or else, she's realizing she's stuck w/ me! LOL...either way, progress! :)
she went outside w/ papa today so i could take a shower...they went for a walk to buy water. that's going to be our morning routine. (no, we haven't run out of water...the GH is fully supplied, we're just being extra cautious now!)

i didn't realize how hard this was going to be w/out george and brayden. my heart aches for them...and we're still DAYS away from going home.

tomorrow we're going to go the the BFAS office to double check our paperwork. i don't want any glitches before we go to the embassy!

ps. in case you're wondering...
THIS IS WHAT I'M SITTING NEXT TO! :)

ethiopia day 2

2009-07-03T15:02:00.003-04:00

saturday 6.13.
KIM'S HERE! KIM'S HERE! KIM'S HERE!!
i am soo excited that kim's here! :) she landed this morning (same flight we took, just a day later) and i really didn't want her stranded at the airport because, well, it stinks but she's traveling alone and so it would doubly stink. i can't even imagine how i would have reacted if my dad wasn't w/ me yesterday.

so. i told everyone (i'm not exaggerating. i told everyone...even people who don't speak english) about kim's flight. well, this morning, at breakfast, i was like "who's picking up Kim?" and they acted like they didn't know she was arriving...i was like "dude, (yea, i know i still dude people. i can't help it)..."dude, i told you yesterday, so i know you knew."...anyway, it was funny to watch korsa make a few calls and then run. seriously, he took off running to the car!
kim was smart. she had phone numbers, too...and a back-up plan, so she had another ride waiting for her.

i'm really enjoying this trip with my dad. i always thought if i ever signed up for the amazing race, he'd be the guy i'd sign up with...not that either of us would ever do that, but he was my guy. anyway, i'm really enjoying going thru this life experience w/ him...
...but i'm so happy kim's here! of course, i'm happy she's finally united with sifan. but selfishly, i'm excited because that gives us another person to hang-out with and talk to! :)

about ellie...
boy, that girl can sleep! i was so worried she'd wake up in the night and cry and honestly, i knew she wouldn't want me to console her...but PTL, we didn't have that happen! around 7am, she opened her eyes...gave a look like "oh, it's still you" and closed 'em back up for another hour!

we had a great morning and then walked to the care center w/ kim, so she could meet sifan. (boy, did i pronounce her name WRONG all these months! yikes!). we went while ellie napped, so i didn't have to take her back and give her mixed messages.

we had a better day...she still prefers the nannies over me, but today, i can take her to our room and she'll tolerate me...and when we went down the steps, i jumped them, and got what i think was maybe a hint of a smile...like the i've-gotta-work-hard-not-to-smile-about-this face...so, i think we may just have a personality hidden in there!!

ethiopia day 1...

2009-07-02T22:20:00.003-04:00

friday. 6/12

wow. what a day! i can't believe we're here! i'm sitting here. on my bed. in ethiopia. seriously. i'm sitting on a bed IN ETHIOPIA! and guess who's snoring in the bassinet right beside me. yep. i'm sitting on a bed IN ETHIOPIA...listening to the sweet sound of my daughter snoring.
ahh.....

so, it's been a long day (i don't know how people do this w/ jetlag!)...we left rome this morning at 1:15 am and took the 5 1/2 hour flight to addis. we landed on time and i was so worried about getting thru the airport...but it was a breeze! we were thru everything...visas, passports, customs, money exchange, and baggage in like under a half-an-hour (ish)...when we popped out at meeting area, i looked for the guy holding the BFAS sign...and looked...and looked...and started to panic...but...luckily i had emergency phone numbers programmed into my fabulous world cellphone, so i placed my first call from ethiopia (which was painful, since it was $2.29 a minute!). i called the guest house and they said they were on their way...luckily it wasn't far away and fedeke and dr. alem were there in about 10-15 minutes.

we arrived at notool GH just a few minutes later, where breakfast (really yummy crepes) was waiting. we had to 'settle in' for a couple hours (the dr. wanted my dad to rest before we left to get ellie)...it felt like an eternity, but finally at 11:30ish, we were "allowed" to go meet her!!

i can't even explain how excited i was!

the care center is probably about a mile away from the GH. the roads are super bumpy, but i didn't get sick! as we walked thru the gate, i started to cry, but i was able to get myself together (i told myself i wouldn't cry when i met her...crying is scary to kids, i know that!). we went in and it was so surreal...the bigger kiddos picked flowers for me. they all called me "mommy". it was so amazing. there i was. in ethiopia. hugging my friends' kiddos. amazing isn't a strong enough word. unreal. just unreal!

ellie had been sleeping, so they woke her up. :( she of course wasn't happy about that! i tried not to be pushy w/ her. just kinda hung out, not in her face. never asked to hold her...just wanted her to notice my presence...

our first moment together...

...we all went outside, where my dad blew bubbles with the kids (my hands were too shaky to blow bubbles). then we set up the climby toy thingy that i brought.
i took video of the kids in there...oh, i wish i could share it...it's amazing. (i just watched it!)...the kiddos squeals are so cute...it sounds like birds chirping...but it's laughter!

my dad playing w/ the kiddos (yes, faces are blocked out to follow the rules!)

i wanted to spend the whole day at the CC, just hanging out, letting ellie get to know me. but unfortunately, i wasn't able to stay. the ladies who brought us there, had to get to work and dr. alem didn't want us to stay there by ourselves. so, the choice was, bring ellie back with me. or come back to get her later and bring her back then.

she's watching papa blow bubbles...

neither seemed like a good option to me.

but they loaded her in the car and off we went.
she wasn't happy.

we came back to the GH and played and tried to get to know each other. it's been a pretty rough day. i can't believe we have her. i can't believe she's here with me. i can't believe this is finally happening!

she (of course!) prefers the house nannys and staff. which is super hard. i knew that would be the case (umm, hello! they speak her language AND they're familiar!) but it still stings.

hopefully, tomorrow will be better!

i already miss george and brayden a ton and just can't wait until we're a forever family of four...

so cute!

2009-07-01T20:31:00.005-04:00

okay, so is it bragging if i know i had nothing to w/ my daughter's cuteness? genetically speaking of course...hehe, i totally have everything to do w/ her cute hair and outfits! :)

so, we've been home a week-and-a-half, now. so, we're settling in...

most things have transitioned so smoothly, it's scary...but we have a few bumps in the road--as anticipated.

ellie is seriously, such a different girl than the one we met almost 3 weeks ago. she was so withdrawn when we met her...it took her about 5 days to smile! but now, our girl has such spunk (and a STRONG will!)

we have some falling asleep issues, but once she's out, she's out. we've had to battle lice, but w/ the help of prescription lice meds (for ellie and mommy) we think we're about to win the battle! brayden is doing great...he of course has his moments, but we anticipated that. w/ the help of some scripts, the giardia and cough seem to be clearing up nicely.

here's a couple of (rejected) pictures of my two kiddos...from our 'photo shoot' to try to get a good shot for ellie's adoption announcement. :) they're in traditional ethiopian outfits. :)

i love how brayden's peeking at her in this picture. :)

best post EVER!!!

2009-06-24T11:25:00.000-04:00

we're home!!!
okay, we've been home for a few days now...i just have been too exhausted to post until now...but i think today we're ready to begin our new life together!

i have so much to say about our time in ethiopia...but i'll save that for later. today's post is just about our forever family day.

ellie has different dates for her gotcha day and her forever family day, since she met george and brayden a bit later...we left ET on friday night (10:15 flight). we got to the airport early so we could try to upgrade our seats. they were $1000 a ticket and worth every cent! the pricetag didn't hurt that much, though, because we had purchased a seat ticket for ellie, so when we upgraded, we switched her to a lapseat, so, basically the upgrade was about $700 out of pocket...that's not as bad of a pill to swallow! :)

we flew from 10:15pm on friday until 4:15pm on saturday (or 8:15am cleveland time)...i've never been on a plane that long before and boy, i'd be lying if i said it wasn't killer! but we were lucky enough to have a bassinet for ellie, which was a life saver. when we got on the plane, she started crying, and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't afraid that i'd be the girl--you know the one. the poor girl holding the baby that cries the whole flight. BUT she feel asleep about 10 minutes later and slept for the next 8 hours! she woke up, ate, and played...honestly, she was a champ!!

it was amazing to land in DC and be so close to home...yet still so far away. we had a 4 hour layover, which was just enough time to get thru customs, grab some dinner (yes, dinner at 10am!), and try to clean up a bit before heading on the last leg of the journey...

...but our flight was delayed.

our 12:34 flight-time got changed to 1:00. then 1:30. then 2:00. then 2:30. then 3:00...each time the girl got on the intercom to announce the flight change, i started sobbing. it was horrible...then, at 1:30, she picked up the intercom and said our flight was getting bumped up and we'd be boarding at 2:01...ahhhh! it was wonderful! (yes, i cried about that!)

ellie slept and i cried basically the whole 1 hour flight home...i was so excited for brayden and george to meet ellie...and to hold my big boy...oh, how my heart ached for them!

i could describe the rest, but a picture's worth a thousand words, right???

best post EVER cont...

2009-06-24T10:44:00.003-04:00

big brother brayden...waiting and watching...our first moment together...here she is!!!meeting some of "the fam"... and diggin' the balloons!lovin' the balloons! (and nanny, too!)our forever family!!!!

home!

playing together... on some of the welcome home signs...brayden showing ellie her new room...

last update from Rome!!

2009-06-11T11:05:00.004-04:00

okay, i don't think i've ever been this jittery. ever. in my whole life. i thought i knew what it was like to have adrenaline pumping thru my veins...but oh my gosh!! i'm so stinkin' excited! i'm sooo very excited. like i can't even tell you how excited!!! my fingers are shaking. time is moving soooo slowly!!

i wanted to give a quick blog about what we've done in rome, so that when things get wonderfully crazy, i'll remember...

...monday
it was so weird leaving our house. knowing, that was the last time a family of 3 will live there. our dear friends, the wallens, who are old pros at this adoption thing, made a terrible suggestion. :) they said george/brayden/my mom should just drop us off at the curb, say a quick good-bye and we should walk away. it would be painful for me, but the best thing for brayden. so. we did that. ugggh, it ripped my heart out. hugging my peanut butter for such a short time. but a hug that has to stay w/ me for 13 long days. my heart aches for my boys so much.

my uncle john and his little one, emily, met us at the airport to send us off, which was wonderful and such a great distraction!

we flew into newark and spent a couple hours w/ some irish folk (they were on their way to vegas to get married!) before boarding the longest flight (so far) of my life...8 hours to rome.

we totally lucked out on our flight, the plane had some empty seats open, one of which was next to me...so, we were able to spread out and have an empty seat between us. (thank God!)

...tuesday
i can't describe how tired we were. so very tired. but we took everyone's advice and didn't sleep. oh, how we wanted sleep! but we decided to walk around rome a bit. it was overwhelming and we had a couple glitches (did i mention how tired we were?).
we ate a fabulous lunch in a wonderful little restaurant...when we walked in, we asked the waitress..."do you take american express?" and she said "yes"...so, we ate our yummy, yummy italian food. (we had brushetta, lasagna, and pasta in pesto) then the bill came. daddy whipped out the AX...and she said 'sorry, no. visa. mastercard." yea. ummm...we asked you that before we ate her, chickie...so, hand us some rubber gloves, show us the plates and let us clean 40 euro's worth...okay. that last part didn't really happen. my poor dad had to walk back to the hotel alone (i was stuck at the restaurant...) and an hour later, he came back to bail me out.
ugg...that was tough. we were so tired. and everywhere we went people knew we were american (we finally asked, turns out our tennis shoes are the give away...americans wear comfortable shoes!)
...wednesday.
we were rested and ready to tackle rome...and tackle we DID! we hit nearly every site. our hotel is seriously perfectly placed. everything is w/in a 30 minute walk and so we just walked. and walked. and walked. we did everything in about 4 hours (yay for comfortable tennies!)
we got our authentic italian pizza (twice!), some gelato, and canolis too! :)
our hotel has a rooftop restaurant, so we went their for celebratory drinks...we got a wonderful phone call from my friend, kim...she passed court about a week after i did and due to paperwork issues, she was told she'd have to have a later embassy date...but BFAS was able to work a miracle and she found out she's coming w/ us!!!!...(she'll arrive on saturday)...so, we had some celebratory drinks on a roof top in rome. seriously, does it get better than that???
(yes it does, celebratory hugs in ethiopia, in fact!)

...thursday.
we hopped the bus to go to the vatican. it's about 3 miles away from our hotel, so we decided it was time to grab bus 40. it's awesome, our hotel is so close to the termini (bus station) and the subway. and so, for a euru each, we went to the vatican. it's amazingly huge. and beautiful. i got tons of pictures and video. but we were pretty disappointed. because tomorrow is a holiday (?) the cistine chapel was closed...
we had lunch of some fabulous fresh vegetable soup on the rooftop (we love that place!) and then we decided to pay for a late check-out, so we went back to our room to pack, nap, and shower.

so, that's where we are now.

packed, napped (well, one of us napped. the other sat their, jittery, checking her email), and showered. i tried to take a nice, long, hot shower because who knows when the next one will come!

so, now i sit. counting down the hours. it's 6pm now. probably we'll land in et in about 14 hours...so, maybe i'll meet ellie in 15-16???

oh my gosh...
counting down the months is done.
counting down the weeks is done.
counting down the days is done.
counting down the hours is nearly done!

that's pretty much the thought that continually runs thru my head...

...hang on ellie, we're coming tomorrow!!!

(ps. sorry about the spelling errors...things are in italian and well, spellcheck doesn't like english, let alone my attempt at english!)

trip to the vatican...

2009-06-11T08:07:00.002-04:00

2009-06-10T10:38:00.003-04:00

2009-06-10T10:36:00.001-04:00

this is me at some fountain...

my daddy enjoying some REAL italian pasta!

2009-06-10T10:35:00.001-04:00

us at the colessum...(most of our shots will look like this!)

yes, we did get closer...but this was the shot i had of both of us together!

2009-06-10T10:34:00.001-04:00

us at trevi fountain (sorry about that spelling!)

2009-06-10T10:28:00.002-04:00

spanish steps!

updates from rome!!

2009-06-10T10:25:00.002-04:00

hello my dear friends!! :)

i'm sitting in an internet store...i thought it would be better to use their computer than walk the streets of rome, lugging around mine...so, please forgive my spellling and typing errors. i can't figure out how to change the website to english, so spell check won't help (not to mention all these extra keys on the keyboard!)

rome is beautiful and we're having a great time...but i'll be honest. it's hard to be so close to ellie and still be soo very far away. but can you believe this, we're a mere 36 hours away from meeting her!!! 36 hours!!!!!

here are a few pictures from our past 2 days events!!

enjoy!!

whooops!

2009-06-09T04:04:00.002-04:00

okay, so guess sending a blog from my cell phone isn't going to work out so well, after all! :) it took me forever to write that post well...you saw what happened!

in rome, i'll have brief internet access each day (i'm payin $ by the hour).

we had a fabulous and uneventful flight to rome...my dad's catching a quick nap right now (i'm supposed to be putting on my make-up!)...but we see that we're going to have to keep ellie's ticket for the way home because there is no way we can keep a nearly-two-year-old on our laps for 18 hours in that small space...so, it's either that or upgrade to business class...we'll see what happens!

okay...of to be a tourist!!!

keep praying!!

ps. it's sooo weird (and amazing!) to think that i'm only a 6 hr plane ride away from ellie! so close, yet still far away!

2009-06-08T15:05:00.003-04:00

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2009-06-08T15:05:00.001-04:00

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2009-06-08T14:50:00.001-04:00

Were off!

here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-08T07:47:00.002-04:00

hope to be able to write my send off blog from rome! :)

torn

2009-06-06T17:02:00.002-04:00

i'll readily admit that i'm known as a girl in touch w/ her feelings. and i have no shame in admitting that this adoption journey to ellie has often led me to emotional places i didn't even know existed.

but i've entered a new level. and it's a scary place. i have so many conflicting emotions warring around inside of me that i'm honestly surprised every second that i'm still standing.

i am SO EXCITED...
...we're about to get ellie! this is the last day of a full week where i will only know ellie from a picture. i finally get to meet her. touch her. love her up close!
...in two weeks, this will all be over. in two weeks, we'll be a forever family of four.
...i'm going to get my little girl...i'm so excited, i can hardly contain myself!!

but, i'm just as APPREHENSIVE...
...there are still so many unknowns. will she like me (eventually? i seriously don't anticipate her liking me w/in the first few days of meeting me.)? will i be able to handle this? will our paperwork/embassy appointment go smoothly (traveling w/o george of course makes me wonder)? will everything go well?

i'm DISAPPOINTED...
...hang on, let me explain...
...i've met some great friends along this journey and had planned on making this trip w/ some of them. due to the abandonment ban and other issues, my friends won't be making this trip with me. and while i'm super delighted to take pictures of their precious little ones, i'm disappointed i'll be making this trek alone.

i'm GUILTY...
...doesn't every mom (whether they bring their baby into the family via hospital or airplane) feel guilty about leaving the big brother at home? i'm about to rock my big brother's world and he doesn't really know what's about to hit him.

i'm HOMESICK...
...can you be homesick if you're still at home? i'm gonna miss my boys like crazy and i cry every time i even think about it. i bought brayden a little gift to open every day while i'm gone. some are little things, like shark stickers, nemo toys, or this super cool octopus cup...others are a little bigger, like the shark slip-n-slide he's been eyeing for months at target...the one i always say "no" to...or this cool pirate ship lego set. he's probably not even gonna notice i'm gone!

i'm HUMBLED...
...i may have the opportunity to meet ellie's birthmom. how do you even begin to express the emotions wrapped up in that experience?

so, while yes, i'm super excited beyond my wildest dreams, my brain has conflicting emotions running rampant...which basically means for the last few days all i've been able to do is cry and giggle.

i'm about to meet my little girl...and change our family forever! :)

2009-06-04T14:23:00.001-04:00

this new world edition camera phone arrived this am. so, hopefully i won't be totally out of reach in et!

and i'm testing how blogger works w/ texting to see if i can do that while i'm there. it's 50cents a text so totally worth it if it goes thru.

guess we'll soon find out!

6 days

2009-06-02T22:40:00.002-04:00

if i'm not careful, this is what i'll look like arriving in ET!!

care packages from other PAPs are flooding in and i love that i get the privilege of giving some of these kiddos gifts from their parents...and to finally be the one to take pictures of others' kiddos! wahoo!! such an honor! :)

okay. i'm literally running around like a chicken w/ my head cut-off...so i'll try to catch up more later!

...6 more days!!!

score!!

2009-05-29T17:27:00.005-04:00

and i'm not talking about the cavs. :)

the summer after brayden was born, we built our house and i resigned from my beloved job as a teacher. to save money, i began garage sale-ing. i will admit four short years ago, i thought you went into someone's yard, perused their discarded belongings, and paid the price they asked. then i went w/ my BBF...

...she was appalled! hehehe...she couldn't believe i had never asked for a lower price...and honestly, it took all summer to learn how to do it (and seriously, i'm still SO uncomfortable haggling!) we started small, where i'd find like $5.50 worth of stuff and offer $5 for it...when that worked, we took another step and i offered a lower amount...hehe, the first time i did it, i blamed

it on hilary! i said something like "hilary said i need to ask you if you'll take $8.00 for this." it was

so uncomfortable! LOL...but they did say yes! and well...4 years later, i'm a garage sale pro! :)

all of that to say, i may have stooped to a new level today. :)

i saw this fabulous climby thing. i saw it and immediately pictured some little ethiopian kiddos climbing all over it and i knew. i had to buy it. the guy was asking (what i thought at the time) alot of money, so i lost all shame (amazing how that happens). i was holding my friend's little man, sammy, who has been home from ET for about 5 months now...and i told him to look cute (which he successfully does very naturally!)...and told the nice man that i was going to africa in 10 days

to pick up my daughter (my daughter!!!) and i have to have this climbing toy for the children at the orphanage. and i didn't offer him anything...just asked what was his lowest price, as it will get tons of play, in fact, i'll take a picture for him!

so, i scored this fabulousness for $40!

yep. there it is...in my backyard! isn't it HUGE?!?! won't it be awesome!!!!

and here's the absolute best part...

it fits in my luggage! :)

i looked it up on amazon...it costs over $300.00!

score!! :)

ps. in two weeks FROM TODAY, i get to meet ellie!!!

and i was lucky enough to receive an email from my friend holly w, who's in ET right now. she said ellie was getting her hair braided this morning (she took a picture) and she sat patiently waiting. :) isn't that great!?!!!

11 days...

2009-05-28T16:27:00.003-04:00

tags are off...
clothes are clean...
let the packing commence!

enbassy date!!

2009-05-27T22:13:00.003-04:00

we received an email today saying our embassy date is june 18th!

which is what i originally had assumed it would be...assumed enough to buy the tickets a couple weeks ago (scary, huh!)...

we'll be leaving june 8th for rome, staying there a few days and then arriving in addis on friday morning. the hope is that the couple days in rome will help us deal w/ jetlag while we're in ethiopia. (and hanging out in rome. ROME! wahoo!)

we'll be leaving for home june 19th, arriving on june 20th...

which...get this...is exactly one year after we requested applications to adoption agencies.

one year.

we're getting so close!!

two of my adoption friends passed court today, wahoo!!!

still waiting...

2009-05-26T22:53:00.002-04:00

we haven't officially heard our embassy date...but we're pretty sure it'll be june 18th. the tickets are bought and tomorrow i'll be booking our hotel room. did i mention that, were going to rome? yep. 3 full days in rome. my dad's really excited and honestly, i figure if i've gotta spend the last 3 days before i meet ellie somewhere, it might as well be rome, right?!

so, any hotel suggestions?

today hilary and i went shopping! :)
i discovered it won't be as warm in ET as i thought it would be, so i needed to buy ellie some warmer clothes (yay!)...so, they're in the washing machine right now! :) i love all that pink in there!

i've gathered many packing lists over the past year and my friend sheryl sent me the most comprehensive one yet, last night...so i started buying that stuff today too...

...i'm getting excited....THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!

matching...

2009-05-24T22:34:00.004-04:00

i've gone back and forth trying to decide what ellie and brayden will wear for their first moments together...

...should ellie wear a traditional ethiopian dress?

...should brayden wear a big brother shirt?

...should i buy matching outfits?

...should i not make it a big deal?

well...i think i've finally decided...

they're going to match...kinda. :)

brayden's is on a blue t-shirt...ellie's is on a pink t-shirt...

i love the imagechef.com mosaic thingy...

and here's the coolest part...I HAD TO RUSH SHIPPING to make sure they arrived in time!!!!!

THE CALL

2009-05-21T14:28:00.002-04:00

okay, so i'm finally composed enough to share our story. :) there are parts that are personal and private, so i'm going to leave those out. so, if the story doesn't flow really well sometimes, that's why...

brayden had his end-of-the-year preschool picnic on tuesday at a nearby park. my school had state testing, so we were hanging out w/ brayden's buddy jack while his mom was one of the assessors.

picture kiddos running around, mommies chasing after their little toddlers, brayden's preschool teacher grilling hotdogs, and me...standing w/ a group of moms...w/ my cell phone in my hand.

12:56 pm. the phone rings and caller id says "BFAS"...my heart skips a beat...

meg: "hello?"
haile: "hi meg."
meg: "hi haile"
haile: "meg. it's haile...i have news for you." (he ALWAYS sounds like the next phrase out of his mouth will be "brace yourself". seriously. he does!)
meg: (i'm already crying by the way...) "you do??"
haile: "meg. you passed court. we got an email from agitu saying you passed court early..."
he read me the email...twice...and i seriously have never giggled so much while crying so hard in my life. i was a sobbing giggling mess! :) seriously. i wonder what the other preschool moms were thinking...

haile: "meg. you have to stop crying. you know how i feel about crying. you're going to make me cry. meg, i'm an ethiopian man, i don't cry."
meg: "i'm trying, haile. i really am." (seriously, it was like the worst case of the giggles i've ever had accompanied by sobbing. heavy, heaving sobs. very strange)

it was the best 7 min 49 sec conversation of my life.

i hung up. called george, sobbing...shared the awesome news...and then my BFF called me. (she's 21 weeks preggo, FYI)...i couldn't even understand her, she was crying so hard.

she had checked my email.

(yea, i clearly have no secrets... 1/2 the world has my email password!)

she saw the emailed titled "Meg Popa Passed Court!"

she knew i was at the picnic and knew i hadn't seen it and it was awesome how she got to be a big part of our awesome news.

GOD is GOOD. His timing is perfect. He's blessed us w/ a beautiful daughter...we're so privileged to be her parents...

WE PASSED COURT!!!

2009-05-19T18:10:00.003-04:00

yes! you read that right...6 days before our scheduled court date, we received the news that we PASSED.

we passed.

WE PASSED!

praise the Lord, ellie is officially, legally, forever and ever our daughter!!

i'm to excited to sit at the computer and blog...so i'll give you the details later. :)

"ethiopia called...ellie's ready!"

...seven...

2009-05-18T19:57:00.002-04:00

206 days ago, we first laid our eyes on our sweet girl.
206 days.

and now...we're a mere 7 days away from court. in 7 days, she'll be a popa. she'll officially be our daughter for ever and ever and ever...
...oh, i can hardly contain my excitement!

we've been counting down for 29 weeks (and 3 days) and now. now we're
ONE WEEK AWAY!

praise God!
*disclaimer...i don't know anything about this book series, i simply wanted the picture... :)*

so, i was really thinking today i would write a real blog. it's been a while since i've actually written anything of substance. i know. and i apologize. today was really gonna be the day...but...i don't know if the waiting has finally made me lose it or what, but i just can't concentrate enough to write anything worth reading...because every time i do, my heart starts to beat faster and i get side-tracked because my brain says "7 more days. S.E.V.E.N. seven. seven!!!!"

seriously.
i can't believe it.
by this time next week we'll have a daughter!!!

one last horrah...

2009-05-18T18:23:00.006-04:00

here are (more than) a few of my favorite pictures from our trip...

we've been staying in suites when we go to the hotels...this means the boys get to sleep in their own "room" on a pull-out couch, which they LOVE...it also means that geo and i don't have to shut-off the lights and go to sleep at 9:00 either! :)

they were up early enough (why don't kids sleep-in at hotels?) to go swimming again in the morning! happy boys!"big-boy-burritos" (check out their crazy hair!)...they are such great buddies. we're so lucky they have each other!ready for the zoo...

my new favorite picture...holding tiger teeth (and saying "grrrrr")...comparing themselves against the height of the newborn baby elephant...okay, seriously, this leopard LOVED george. it was near the window lounging and when george came up w/ the boys, it got up...walked over right where geo was...pawed at the window...played this silly game of peek-a-boo...and then LICKED the window. here's a picture of the lick. not sure if he liked george because he thought he'd be a good friend or a yummy dinner, but either way, it was so crazy!
waiting to get their lunch...i love how they do everything alike!!finally, thru the zoo exhibits and into the "kaquarium"!!the to the park...i know it's a fuzzy picture, but this is a perfect snapshot of their personalities...dare-devil caleb enjoying the ride (this was a super fast slide)...brayden is nervous the first time down... long day...they slept the whole ride home!

good-bye double digits!!!

2009-05-16T22:56:00.005-04:00

hello number 9!!

i'm writing this from our hotel bed (geo's on the other bed watching the news)...brayden and caleb are in the other room, snoozing away! (seriously, i may never stay in another hotel room w/o a suite. it's the best idea...then parents don't have to go to bed at 8:30 w/ kiddos!)

we decided to go on our "last hoorah" aquarium trip...so at 3 this afternoon, we booked a hotel room, hopped in the van, and were off to pittsburg for swimming today and shark watching tomorrow! :) hopefully this is our last family trip w/out ellie...

because we have NINE MORE DAYS!!!!

here's a silly video of the boys swimming (i forgot my swimsuit and was SOO bumming!). they were so cute. usually they just hang out on the steps but we've been really working on venturing off the steps and today they finally did it! this video was after an hour of practicing. i love how nervous they were...they almost look like ballerinas crossed w/ zombies! :) hehe...

okay, i just watched the video. the quality is horrible! i took it w/ my cell phone and had no clue it was so bad...my apologies!

another day down...

2009-05-14T22:17:00.002-04:00

brayden and i planted our garden today...i'm so excited to have a *real* garden!!
and tonight was the HSC year-end celebration...but i'm so emotionally exhausted, so i'll post more tomorrow. :)

BUT ELEVEN MORE DAYS!!!

in the tweens...

2009-05-13T21:09:00.004-04:00

never thought i'd like being in my 'tweens quite so much! :)

i picked this picture because, well, it's funny to me that george can't see it! :) and i think that's funny!

and just for fun...here's a picture of my kiddo playin' in the rain, today! :)

he has 2 uncles who are firefighters, so he loves to wear his fireman raincoat!

edit added:

turns out, george IS ABLE to see this 12...he's red/green color-blind, so he can see this because it's orange and blue...but it sure is fun to play tricks on him w/ most of those little circle number thingies! :)

survivor's guilt...

2009-05-12T21:38:00.002-04:00

it's been awhile since i've really written anything substantial. i know that, but i've been avoiding...
here's a copy of the email i sent out to my family and friends...it explains what's happening.

Hello Dear Friends,
I'm writing to let you know of recent news impacting many Ethiopian adoptions. Last week, the Ethiopian Courts discovered many fraudulent cases. I won't go into specifics, but at this point, ALL cases where children were abandoned in Addis Ababa (the capital city) are NOT being processed through court until an investigation occurs and the courts have been satisfied. This affects all agencies from all countries. At this point, the Courts are delaying all cases for these children.

Perhaps, hundreds of children/families are affected by this news and may have significant delays in their children's adoptions.It was a tough weekend, waiting to hear if Ellie's court case would be affected. We just received word that AT THIS POINT, her case is still on and will be heard as scheduled on May 25th. While we are over-joyed at this news, many other families, some my dear friends, in our agency received bad news-- that their cases are on hold until things get sorted out. At this time, no one knows how long this investigation will last.

Although it is always a great step when the government intercedes to ensure ethical and legitimate adoptions, there are many families who are heartbroken by the delay.

My friends, I'm asking you to pray.
Pray for Ellie's court case to be heard and for all to go smoothly.
Pray that the current investigation moves accurately and swiftly.
Pray for the safety and health of the hundreds of children affected by this delay.
Pray for the waiting parents who are heartbroken.

Thank you for your prayers.
Love, Meg

some of my close adoption friends have been affected by this delay and i'm so sad for them...it's hard to count-down knowing that they've had to stop counting.

my dear friend leatha sent me this poem today...brought me to tears...

For Meg & Ellie

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin..
Because tonight, just as always. I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in his hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in his arms and hold you very tight
and let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

written by Pamela Durkota

hopefully ONE MONTH FROM TODAY, i'll be giving ellie real kisses!!!

200 days

2009-05-11T21:09:00.002-04:00

today is 200 days since ellie's referral. for 200 days i've loved her from afar...

in 2 weeks, she'll (BE PRAYING!!) be ours forever!!

mother's day...

2009-05-10T22:10:00.004-04:00

getting shorter by the minute...

2009-05-07T14:44:00.004-04:00

my friend pamela wrote "18 days and getting shorter by the minute...:)" on my facebook today and when i read that i was brought to tears...each minute means we're another minute closer! i never thought of that!!

remember a while ago when i was looking at the ergo carrier...and couldn't decide if i should spend that much money not knowing whether or not ellie would actually go in it??

well, i've been convinced i'll need something...but i just couldn't spend the mullah knowing she might never go in it...

...but i've been on the look-out...and today, i found what i've been searching for! there's a fun website that has a deal every day. (i can't take credit for finding it...holly w and dawn pointed me in that direction) anyway, today...they had carriers...

i got the one all the way to the right (of course!) for 1/2 price!!! yay!!!

perfect!

it won't take too much room in my suitcase...it holds up to 38 lbs...it was 1/2 price...and IT'S PINK! :)

do you see it???

2009-05-06T13:45:00.002-04:00

there's a 1 starting our countdown!!! wahoo!!!! i always joke about not wanting to return to my teens...but this is fabulous!!! 19 days. a mere 19 days stand between us and ellie...

19 days!!!!

we can do this.

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

hands and feet

2009-05-05T18:03:00.003-04:00

10 fingers.

10 toes.

i can count how long it will take 'til court if i take my shoes off...

hooray!!

so, i've been dealing w/ some anxiety lately...honestly, i'm terrified we won't pass court and it'll be longer until we get ellie...

i'm hesitant and guarded. we haven't even told brayden we're actually close to bringing ellie home...i'm so excited, but worried about another set-back.

...i came across this verse today and it's really helping me...

//my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.//

he knows this is hard. :) but his strength will get me thru! :)

ps. i emailed our agency and told them which room we'd like to have when we go...this is actually becoming real!!

it arrived!

2009-05-04T21:00:00.003-04:00

i've been anxiously awaiting for the arrival of our travel packet...because it's real proof that we're moving closer to ellie!!!

here it is!! :)
i was so excited to see it i ran over to the neighbors' house to show them we're actually at the next step!!!

3 MORE WEEKS!!!!

recent purchase...

2009-05-01T14:24:00.003-04:00

so, i've read about bringing a backpack full of goodies w/ me when we get ellie...

...toys, treats, misc. stuff that she'll like/need when we get her...a little bag of her own (and something for her to keep it all contained on the plane--okay, i'm dreaming, i know!)...

...i've been on the look-out for the perfect bag. it seems like all the little girl bags i come across are strawberry shortcake, disney princesses, or dora. and well, i knew i could default to any of those, but i have time to kill and the perfect backpack may just be out there...

...somewhere...

yesterday, while shopping at target w/ my bff, i found it.

nothing says movin' to america quite like THIS fabulous bag!!
now...i need help...what do i put IN it????

lest you think i forgot (like it doesn't run through my mind a million and a half times a day)...

25

2009-04-30T18:46:00.003-04:00

mid-twenties...

2009-04-29T09:41:00.005-04:00

this is my new favorite number...
...until tomorrow...

ps. when i went into brayden's room during "rest time" i saw this...

he said he was making his bed 'the coolest'...(those are all sealife stickers)

another one bites the dust...

2009-04-28T22:57:00.003-04:00

get out the red pen...start marking a BIG 'X' because...another day is about to bite the dust!

twenty eight days...and counting

2009-04-27T19:12:00.002-04:00

admittedly, i never was any good at math. i was in the advanced math class in high school...you know how some students, when they're pushed excel to the next level? i wasn't one of those students.

but here's some math i know...

28 days= 4 weeks.

there are 4 tiny weeks standing between us and ellie. four. FOUR!

in ellie news, last night we were blessed with 20. yes 20! new pictures of ellie. my friend gail's hubby john traveled to pick up their beautiful little man last week and snapped 20 pictures of ellie. he said she wasn't very happy to see him, so most are of her in her nanny's arms...oh, and boy is her hair GROWING!! it's perfect for bows and braids and oooh, the possibilities are endless! :)

counting down...

2009-04-25T20:43:00.004-04:00

yep. take a look-see over at the counter...we have 30 days...one month...ONE MONTH...ONE MONTH...ONE MONTH!!!!

in other news...

the weather has been spectacular these past couple of days. we've eaten many a meal outside, hit-up quite a few neighborhood parks, logged in about 10 miles on the paths, and bought brayden a bike.

here he is at the store (that's my dad behind him) trying it out...

it's amazing. when he found the one he just took off down the aisle...and well, the rest is history...

he is, however still working on peddling AND steering! LOL...

the green bead

2009-04-24T22:20:00.005-04:00

i was clearing out some of the videos i had on my cell phone and found the video of brayden...

here's the story...
we had our FIRST meeting w/ our SW, beth.
now, when the SW comes, you scrub every nook-and-cranny of your house. you place and re-place the candles. you practice possible questions...(please tell me i'm not the only one who does that, right?) you work hard to make sure that everything goes off w/o a hitch.

and our first meeting went great. we were really at ease w/ beth. we spent a couple hours answering her questions, getting to know her, learning more about adoption, and hanging out with brayden.

we walked her out to the car.
we said goodbye.
she asked for directions.
she said goodbye to brayden.
and he responded...

..."it's stuck in my nose."...

the rest of the convo went something like this...
me: "what's stuck in your nose?"
b: "the green bead."
me: "there's a green bead stuck in your nose?"
b: ""it's right here."

okay, under normal circumstances i would have sat him down, plugged the other side of his nose and muscled it out. problem solved...but we were under the watchful eye of the SW...and i had just spent 3 hours saying part of our parental responsability is to talk w/ our children about things...so, we talked about it first...and well, in an attempt to blow it out, he took a big breath in...and...sucked up that green bead.

one second it was there. the next second i couldn't see it anymore...

so, off to the ER...where the dr. looked and didn't see it...
so, off to a million x-rays...where they x-rayed his nose and lungs...didn't see it...
so, off to the ENT to check his nasal cavities...didn't see it...

turns out, it went down into his belly and well, may have made an appearance later...but i wasn't seeking it out! LOL! :)

here's the video of him right before he left the ENT...

check this out...

2009-04-22T14:25:00.006-04:00

take a look at brayden's plate. yep. that's broccoli and avacado!

brady asked for a snack (while we watched our newest shark documentary dvd)...and this was the specific snack he asked for! "broccoli trees and 'cados". don't tell him that most kids don't eat broccoli or avocados at all, let alone for a movie snack! :) i had to sneak a picture because who would believe it??? :)

on an adoption note:

one writer of one of the blogs i enjoy recently wrote an article...the weight of the wait...
i thought it was pretty dead-on and gave some great glimpses into waiting...

become part of the solution...

2009-04-20T22:44:00.004-04:00

Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

1.1

2009-04-18T21:07:00.002-04:00

so, insert a period in between those two ones...and you've got our number!!!

ONE MONTH and ONE WEEK!!

yes, that breaks down to 37 days (well, 36.5 now!)

honestly, everyone says it'll go by quickly...and honestly, much of it has...some days (minutes, seconds even) things are moving quickly and other days, the seconds really inch by ever so slowly...

but...

176 days ago we saw our daughter's sweet face for the first time...

and in

36.5 days, she'll be ours forever!

an adoption education...

2009-04-14T18:31:00.004-04:00

i'm now addicted to "shopping" online at the library...i love it...we go in, find the shark/fish/whale/dolphin books that we haven't already borrowed (and a few we have) and then snag my books from behind the counter...

i may have been a bit too over zealous this time...

shopping

2009-04-11T14:44:00.005-04:00

so, i've puposely not done much clothes shopping for ellie...it's not that i think shopping for her clothes will jinx her adoption or anything...i mean, her room is completely done and ready for her...so, that's not really the issue. seriously, most days i think i could make a psychologist's head spin! i think i'm a bit guarded about clothes because, well, i've had to pack up boy clothes twice during this adoption journey and the thought of packing up ellie's clothes is...well, something i refuse to think about. plus, because of our adoption, we're broke...so i'm trying to watch the pocketbook. not to mention, the complication of not really knowing ellie's size...

but...today is 6 weeks until court...we're over half way through our court date wait...so...my mom and i went to kohl's...shopping really does make this waiting easier!

i know it's hard to tell...but i worked REALLY hard to NOT buy all pink!

gearing up...

2009-04-11T00:16:00.003-04:00

look what i'm buying!! this little video camera is specially designed by ME! yep. i made that pattern all by (AND FOR) myself! :) seriously, go to the site just to design your own! it's so much fun...

it's small enough for my pocket...so, i can just pull it out whenever i need to record something while in ET (like my friends' kids!!) AND i can upload it to my laptop (another recent purchase! i'll let you know when it comes in!) and email it WHILE i'm in ET!! :)

that's my plan...we'll see if all the technology agrees with me! hehe...

Flip Mino Camcorder with Personalized Design - Available only at www.theflip.com. Check out this unique Flip Mino design. The Flip Mino camcorder combines remarkable video quality in a pocket-sized package. Now personalizable - create yours

View >>

time

2009-04-07T23:05:00.002-04:00

so, if i'm brutally honest, most days i have to actively think about NOT thinking about wishing time would go faster. most days i think "it's almost night time...i'm almost one day closer to ellie."

most days, i'm wishing time would go quicker.

but, there's a flip side. now, i realize this is a special time w/ brayden and i don't want to wish away his childhood...but the real flip side is there are people...people who are wishing time would go slower. people who want more time w/ their kiddos...i WILL have time with ellie. i have my whole future to look forward to spending with ellie...

...time is a precious thing to waste...

picture

2009-04-07T17:51:00.003-04:00

okay, so i don't have a picture of me from the craziness of april fool's / brayden's first stitches...

...this is from an 80s party i threw last summer...

(and since i'm embarrassing myself w/ this picture, i'm sticking geo in there, too!)

i basically looked just like this on wednesday, just add some blood to my shirt!

"

2009-04-05T12:19:00.001-04:00

"Few things on earth are as terrifying as being introduced to a child who has just been instructed to address you as Mama."

~melissa fay greene (there is no me w/o you)